Backstabbers & Swamp Scum By Caller, 2000 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Backstabbers & Swamp scum Or Nice guys finish where they don?t belong By Caller In the fall of the year sometimes the best-laid plans seem to go astray. No matter how hard a fellow tries to get his ducks in a row, somehow for some reason there is always a glitch. I?ve been there and so have you, if you have hunted ducks more than once. Last fall was such a year for a pal of mine. He had planned all year on having access to a new duck club. But having been to a goat roping and a dog show he thought he had better, for safeties sake, keep hold of his old duck lease just in case the new one wasn?t going to be such a hot deal after all. Being the quick thinker I have always given him credit for he got on the phone to every one he knew and offered them a share of the old lease for one year. That way he could cut his costs but still retain the old lease if something went wrong with the new lease. No takers through his sources and repeated phone calling. So he went kinda public and started asking on the net if anyone was interested. As luck would have it two fellows jumped at the deal. A one-year share of the existing leases for $500.00 apiece. Chances were slim that they would have to share much at all with the actual leaseholders it seemed. What a deal? I almost took it myself but an old man can only do so much. Now there is a law, which applies to duck hunters especially. I know some of you will relate it?s called Murphy?s Law, ?if something can go wrong, it will go wrong?. Duck season had barely started when good old Murphy raised his head and laughed loudly at my pal and his friend. The new lease it seems wasn?t going to be available after all. It didn?t make any difference that they had stood the cost and labor of fixing the Levy's, built a new duck blind and set out a couple hundred decoys. Seems some cousins got their wires crossed as to just who owned this property and what could actually be done with it. So as Murphy would have it a Judge decided that until the wires got uncrossed no one would hunt ducks there. My pal and his buddy were barred from entering the property and for that matter just leave there blind and decoys where they were for the time being. I have often wondered as I drove down the road just how many ducks that old judge shot there this year. A quick regroup of plans was called for and the two went back to ?plan B?, with plan ?A? now shot down. Duck season would not be a total loss anyway! Well they just didn?t figure old Murphy was going to do them twice in the same year. Once was surely enough, surely it would be some other duck hunters turn at dealing with the Murphy. The first hunt with their new partners should have opened their eyes that Murphy had not only targeted them, he was their bedfellow also. The new hunting duo thought a duck blind was a cocktail lounge for starters. Secondly, one thought the way to attract ducks was to hail call every duck he could see whether it was fifty yards away or ten miles away. The other new partner, who apparently was handling the close in work, might as well, had a shiny tin circus kazoo on his lanyard. Not only did he not sound like a duck he had no idea what ducks say to each other. As the season progressed the hunting and killing got better as the plan ?B? boys reestablished themselves as the duck hunters and the new partners accepted the fact that suddenly they had very killable ducks in front of them most of the time. So Murphy got shown the gate you say. Not by a long shot my friends. The season concluded with the new partners admittedly having killed more ducks in one season than they ever had. The plan ?B? boys were admittedly glad that this years ordeal had ended and would be satisfied just to look forward to next year when they would no longer be sharing the little timber hole blind. ?Hello Mr. Murphy. You a say you have some more laws? No, we had our share of your laws. Remember?? ?We still have a duck blind and decoys we can?t seem to get to.? ?Did we ever hear the one about where nice guys finish?? Four months later the plan ?B? duo finds out that the owner of the property has somehow got the idea that his little duck hole is worth more and he wants his money by May 1st to lock the deal up. Plan ?C? is now implemented. Negotiate a price, get guaranteed water and send the check. This is a done deal. Not when you have old Murphy standing next to you. Plan ?B? leader makes check out sends to the wrong address. Gets letter back from U.S, Mail notifying of same on Thursday. On Monday property owner calls and says he didn?t get check and he has leased the hole to two others. Plan ?B? leader now smells swamp scum. Inquires as to whom was standing in line to snatch the lease up. Property owner tells him it?s his two buddies that hunted with him this year and they have been pestering him for months to lease it to them. He was just tired of the phone calls. Murphy has now left the building, smiling as he goes. Suddenly he stops, looks over his shoulder and mumbles, ?Boys have you heard the one about, What goes around comes around?? Now I know many of you will think there were many mistakes made by the plan ?B? boys and there were. But in this part of the world you don?t back stab someone regarding their duck hunting lease. That is unless you?re are backstabbing swamp scum. Some days I just stand there motionless and let old Murphy walk on by. __________________ Call em Down! There are no shortcuts to becomming an experienced Waterfowler. If you could call all the ducks you see, soon there would be no ducks.