500 ft-lbs from 9mm http://www.doubletapammo.com/php/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=21_37&products_id=298
Take what Almo and Native said and add lots of training and education on self defense issues and you'll be headed the right direction, regardless of which choice you make among those mentioned.
Get a S&W Airweight models in 38spl.... It's a great CC because you will always carry it as it fits anywhere, even in your pockets.
Typical revolver triggers and small 357/38 (while making good carry or defense guns) are not particularly friendly to new shooters and accurate shooting. However, if they shoot for you, shoot them....just know to shoot them a lot.
I think that, based upon your needs, I'd suggest a Glock 19. Small enough to carry concealed but big enough to control. 15 rounds of 9mm is plenty. No safety to disengage other than the lever on the trigger. Whatever you get, practice with it.
I appreciate all the replies so far including the other guns as I'm in it for the discussion. If things work out I will be testing a Glock .40 and Glock 9mm this weekend. I've never shot a 9mm and I'm curious in the recoil difference between the two. I enjoy reading the ongoing arguments between the 9mm and the .40. Supposed lower recoil, more rounds, and lower ammo cost are compelling cases for the 9mm. Then I look at the M&P .40 which only holds 2 less than the 9mm and supposedly not much price difference in ammo cost at Walmart. I'm looking forward to testing out the guns.
....and most everything handles and points and shoots better than a glock, to me. FWIW, thumb safeties being considered slow, hard to use, or in any other way anything but positive, only came into handgun conversations to divert the arguments against NOT having a manual/active safety on some newer, striker pistols....like the Glock. Good safeties are good, and as fast as no safety. Same with exposed hammers, and other nits that are picked on regularly in gun rags and elsewhere these days....just my opinions. One thing to remember in the handgun world: anything desiring to be the best of two different types, sizes, calipers, etc is generally a glorified compromise and ends up being lesser, in one way or another.
Hear that a lot, and probably from guys who shoot more than I do a lot of times. Having said that, I just haven't found that to be the case. To each his own.