Child Custody - Dad's Push Back

Discussion in 'Political Action Forum' started by KENNEDY63, Apr 17, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. KENNEDY63

    KENNEDY63 Elite Refuge Member

    Messages:
    11,087
    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2005
    Location:
    MINNESOTA
    Love it.....

    Big Shift Pushed in Custody Disputes

    Some 20 states are considering changing laws to give fathers more rights to their children after divorce

    By Ashby Jones

    April 16, 2015 1:22 p.m. ET

    Some of the biggest battles over child custody are playing out not in courtrooms, but in statehouses.

    Prompted partly by fathers concerned that men for too long have gotten short shrift in custody decisions, about 20 states are considering measures that would change the laws governing which parent gets legal and physical control of a child after a divorce or separation.

    The proposals generally encourage judges to adopt custody schedules that maximize time for each parent. Some of the measures, such as those proposed in New York and Washington state, take an additional step by requiring judges to award equal time to each parent unless there is proof that such an arrangement wouldn?t be in a child?s best interests.

    Critics of the bills contend that they threaten to take discretion away from judges and risk giving leverage to abusive men. They also say the laws are poorly targeted because typically the only custody cases that end up in court are ones in which former spouses are too hostile toward each other to effectively practice shared parenting anyway.

    Supporters maintain that the opponents, which include many family lawyers and bar associations, are trying to keep alive an adversarial culture that leads to lengthy?and often lucrative?court battles. They say the law should better reflect recent studies that show children are better off when both parents play a meaningful role in their lives.

    ?If dad is subject to the typical ?Wednesday dinner and every other weekend? arrangement, he?s not doing the kind of parenting that benefits kids, making sure the homework is done, getting them up for school,? said Linda Nielsen, a psychology professor at Wake Forest University. In such situations, a father ?is basically reduced to an uncle.?

    Legal views on custody have swung considerably over the years. The ?tender years? doctrine came into vogue early in the last century, said Donald Hubin, an emeritus professor of philosophy at Ohio State University who has written on parenting and parental rights. That doctrine stated a child should stay especially close to his or her mother during infancy and toddler years.

    About 50 years ago, that notion gave way to the idea that custody should be decided according to a child?s best interest.

    Advocates of shared parenting say the ?best interests of the child? standard gives judges too much latitude to employ latent biases and unfairly encourages parents to diminish each other?s abilities in a public forum.

    Statistics on shared parenting are fragmented. But several studies in recent years show that while shared parenting is becoming more popular, it is far from the norm. A 2014 study showed that the percentage of cases in Wisconsin that ended in ?equal shared custody? grew from 5% in 1986 to 27% in 2008.

    ?The court system too often creates winners and losers out of well-intentioned parents,? said Carl Roberts, an Arvada, Colo., software salesman in the midst of a six-year custody battle involving his sons, aged 11 and 12. ?The winner gets the child, and the loser often hardly gets to be a parent.?

    After an initial ruling in 2009, Mr. Roberts was allowed custody of his sons every other weekend. In 2012, that time was expanded by two days a month. Earlier this month, he and his ex-wife agreed to a plan that could further increase his parenting time.

    ?It?s absurd that the law says nothing about the benefits of two-parent child relationships, and does nothing to encourage them,? he said.

    The Colorado senate introduced a shared parenting bill in January. The measure, which Republican co-sponsor Sen. Kevin Lundberg said was prompted partly by Mr. Roberts?s pleas, requires courts to explain in writing why a custody order that ?does not order substantially equal parenting time between the parties? is in the best interest of the child. The Senate unanimously passed the legislation last month and it is pending in the state House.

    Joni Roberts, Mr. Roberts?s ex-wife, said the measure largely was unnecessary given that the vast majority of couples settle their custody disputes out of court. ?Our situation has gone on for six years, and we reached agreements every time,? she said.

    Other opponents of shared-parenting legislation reject claims that it is simply designed to protect a system that pays lawyers? bills. They say that while role-sharing is a laudable goal for parents who can make it work, a presumption of a 50-50 split shouldn?t be baked into law.

    Peter Salem, executive director of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, a Wisconsin-based nonprofit organization that studies the best ways to resolve family conflict, said such situations are highly nuanced. ?It doesn?t make sense to force this on couples that really deeply don?t get along,? he said.

    Some domestic violence experts fear a presumption of shared parenting will give men with histories of emotional or physical abuse more bargaining power during divorce negotiations. ?You?re going to see victims pressured to cooperate with their abusers, which is completely harmful to children,? said Barry Goldstein, a domestic-violence expert who practiced family law in New York for 30 years.

    Write to Ashby Jones at [email protected]
     
  2. blood of the ram

    blood of the ram Elite Refuge Member

    Messages:
    4,375
    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2013
    Location:
    Cali
    You know what's better than "two-parent child relationships"? Living together as a family.
     
  3. stevena198301

    stevena198301 Elite Refuge Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    23,611
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2015
    Location:
    HSV, Alabama
    Not always the best choice...

    Should daddy keep mommy around when mommy is sleeping with half the city? You see... In Alabama, mommy can sleep with half the city, but that doesn't make her a bad mommy. It's still in the best interest of the child to live with mommy. Because mommy has a ******, and ******s give you an unimaginable ability to care for children.

    Mommy can also move anytime, as many times as she wants, without giving daddy the required 45 days notice so that he has time to object. When daddy takes her to court 5 times for this, mommy can always tell the judge the same excuse, that she moved because it was in the best interest of the children every time. The judge doesn't really care to take the kids away from the mommy in the first place, so he says "sounds reasonable to me", and that's that. Mommy can also have a crack habit, so long as she gets a sitter to watch the kids in the living room, while she smokes it in a different room, so the kids don't see. If mommy blacks out while she's driving, because of heroine, and slams into a tree with the kids in the car, she can claim she had a seizure, and that's OK too. Drug tests can even show heroine was in her system when she gets to the hospital, but that could have been there for days... Mommy also doesn't have to go to the bus stop to get her 6 year old. The six year old can run across a 3 lane road and get hit by a car. It's not mommy's fault! That driver shouldn't have been driving down the road. Mommy deserves the 30K from the lawsuit, and all the bills be paid by the drivers insurance.

    I can go on for hours. These are all true stories. Some of this has happened to me with my ex, some to other dads I know. "In the best interest of the child" is the biggest crock of poop ever.

    BOTR, folks like you tend to forget about places like Alabama and Mississippi (or the south in general). We are nowhere near as liberal as most other places about custody. A ****** goes a long way. Men have no rights when it comes to kids here. Tennessee is coming around.
     
  4. blood of the ram

    blood of the ram Elite Refuge Member

    Messages:
    4,375
    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2013
    Location:
    Cali
    Please, spare me. As I've told you before, I've spent years In the South. You know what it is: Too many people who claim to be conservative and religious while leading the nation in divorces. http://articles.latimes.com/2014/ja...tates-religious-conservative-divorce-20140116

    Too many people refuse to accept responsibility for their decisions and do the right thing by putting family before pride.

    Compare:

    I have made some terrible decisions by marrying someone of poor character, but it's up to me to give my kids the most stable home I can.

    With

    That woman is crazy. Give me my visitation rights.
     
  5. stevena198301

    stevena198301 Elite Refuge Member Supporting Member

    Messages:
    23,611
    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2015
    Location:
    HSV, Alabama
    Who said anything about visitation? This is about custody.

    So... If your wife were the one banging all the neighbors, what would you do? Buy her some lube? :cool:
     
  6. API

    API PAF-CA Flyway Moderator

    Messages:
    38,710
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2008
    Location:
    SoCal
    Now that would be a creative approach. :l
     
  7. blood of the ram

    blood of the ram Elite Refuge Member

    Messages:
    4,375
    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2013
    Location:
    Cali
    The first thing I would do is sit down and ask myself how I could have been so irresponsible to have married someone of such poor character.

    Second thing I would do is realize that the implications of my own stupidity are so enormous that I should probably refrain from ever opening my mouth to offer an opinion or to criticize anyone else's views.

    Okay, now what would you do?
     
    Last edited: Apr 17, 2015
  8. iawaterfowler

    iawaterfowler Elite Refuge Member

    Messages:
    1,637
    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    Location:
    Iowa
    Some women are pretty good at covering up their moral turpitude until after there's a ring on their finger. I've got a few friends who married good women that turned into total s***s after 10 years of marriage.
     
  9. API

    API PAF-CA Flyway Moderator

    Messages:
    38,710
    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2008
    Location:
    SoCal
    Could be the ones on late night Cinemax flicks. :cool:
     
  10. KENNEDY63

    KENNEDY63 Elite Refuge Member

    Messages:
    11,087
    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2005
    Location:
    MINNESOTA
    Or they hit their midlife crisis....
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page