How many here have been keel hauled for an innocent remark that someone took offense at?

Named Shirley from Floodwood MN!!!!

 

You call a woman that is not pregnant, pregnant, and she will not be happy… You call the wrong 9 month pregnant woman pregnant, with the wrong combination of hormones going, and you have real trouble…

I have found it far better when the 9 month pregnant lady (with twins) informs of me of such, that I act completely surprised… “I had no idea you were pregnant!”

 

That reminds me of the time my brother and I were following a convertible for a long distance on a two lane country road. Driver had the most beautiful long black hair I'd ever seen. I'm talkin shampoo commercial beautiful, blowing soooo seductively in the wind. We couldn't wait to pass, and get to see this obviously gorgeous example of God's creation. After several miles we were able to pass. We both glanced to our right as we pulled alongside, anticipation growing by the second. Never been so letdown in my life, when "she" glanced our direction, I thought I was looking at Bob Seger. Paul Bunyan never had a more lumberjack lookin beard.

 

Went swimming with the kids yesterday... Little one asked if I was pregnant.... Looks like I will have to send her to politically correct school.

 

On the pregnancy subject and wrong comments...

My FILs shenanigans are great; a long time ago, when my wife’s best friend was pregnant, she came over to his house to visit my wife. She walked in, all big and bloated, and Randy made a fat joke to her (it’s just how he shows love). Her, knowing something was coming when she walked in, thought she had the perfect comeback. “I’m pregnant, what’s your excuse”. Randy wittily replies back “Im having a baby elephant, wanna see it’s trunk?”. The girl about fell out in the floor in laughter.

 

Good one from back in the 1960s military days even.