Is your wife an expert?

Don Smith

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My wife, bless her heart (yes, I know what that means in southern parlance), is a bad combination. Because she was an only child, she needs to be the center of attention. I was one of five, so in my family it was like a bunch of Labs - "pick me, pick me!!!". She's also a control freak. Drives me crazy. She's very, very opinionated and critical of many people. She often says she hates so and so. I keep telling her that hate is too strong. I hate two people - the one who murdered my sister and the one who murdered my nephew. She's also constantly telling me how to do things: Dog training -- I've been training field dogs for over 50 years and have titled well over 100 retrievers including multiple Hunting Retriever Champions and Master Hunters. I even handled my first purebred, a German shorthair, to a show championship and she ended up being the top winning female GSP in a 6 state area in the mid-1970s. She's been showing golden retrievers since 1978 and has never finished a show champion. (Her younger daughter, who lives in our mother-in-law suite and finished a bunch). She has put a bunch of obedience titles on dogs and maybe 12 Junior Hunter titles on her goldens. But she's always telling me how to train. Like I said, she's never trained field dogs to levels higher than Junior. Don't get me wrong - she's an excellent trainer (for obedience, etc.) and is one of only 9 people in all of Ohio certified by the National Association of Dog Obedience Instructors. But, I think I know a little bit about dog training. Doesn't stop her for telling me how to train. Probably the worst is her constantly giving her opinion on the law. I am a retired Federal trial attorney and was a cum laude law school grad. I think her degree was in interior design or something. I don't even bother to explain legal issues to her anymore. I'm always wrong according to her. You name it. She always knows more than me.
 

num70

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Mine apparently is. I've been telling her that I need to do some weed control spraying in several areas. Today, while watching the local weather report, she see's that we are due for some thunderstorms in an hour. She then proceeds to tell me that I need to get outside and do my weed control before the rain hits. OK, I'll do that just after hanging out the laundry on the clothesline.
You do realize that she's just trying to get you struck by lighting, right? Did she buy you a nice metal spray can with a metal wand you're supposed to hold up high for better coverage?
 

fowlwhacker

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to your comment about weed control. I found out i made a big mistake about buying one of those one gallon vegetation killer spray jugs that she wanted. it was to spot spray weeds in the mulched area not the grass. i told her to not get close to any of the other stuff that wasn't a weed. well she thought it would be a good idea to spot spray some weeks in the grass. at first I thought it was just my two female labs peeing on the grass and typically leaving some burn spots but soon figured out there was way to many brown spots appearing in the lawn and had a suspicion that she had sprayed vegetation killer on the grass. sure enough after asking if she had anything to do with all the brown spots in the lawn she started laughing and said yes. i told her she not only killed F'ng weeds she also killed the grass and the chit she had wasn't weed killer but total vegetation killer.
 

CookMan

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My wife, bless her heart (yes, I know what that means in southern parlance), is a bad combination. Because she was an only child, she needs to be the center of attention. I was one of five, so in my family it was like a bunch of Labs - "pick me, pick me!!!". She's also a control freak. Drives me crazy. She's very, very opinionated and critical of many people. She often says she hates so and so. I keep telling her that hate is too strong. I hate two people - the one who murdered my sister and the one who murdered my nephew. She's also constantly telling me how to do things: Dog training -- I've been training field dogs for over 50 years and have titled well over 100 retrievers including multiple Hunting Retriever Champions and Master Hunters. I even handled my first purebred, a German shorthair, to a show championship and she ended up being the top winning female GSP in a 6 state area in the mid-1970s. She's been showing golden retrievers since 1978 and has never finished a show champion. (Her younger daughter, who lives in our mother-in-law suite and finished a bunch). She has put a bunch of obedience titles on dogs and maybe 12 Junior Hunter titles on her goldens. But she's always telling me how to train. Like I said, she's never trained field dogs to levels higher than Junior. Don't get me wrong - she's an excellent trainer (for obedience, etc.) and is one of only 9 people in all of Ohio certified by the National Association of Dog Obedience Instructors. But, I think I know a little bit about dog training. Doesn't stop her for telling me how to train. Probably the worst is her constantly giving her opinion on the law. I am a retired Federal trial attorney and was a cum laude law school grad. I think her degree was in interior design or something. I don't even bother to explain legal issues to her anymore. I'm always wrong according to her. You name it. She always knows more than me.
Yes. Never stops talking / rambling on, but has no experience in anything.. We may be married to the same gal.
 

bill cooksey

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My wife, bless her heart (yes, I know what that means in southern parlance), is a bad combination. Because she was an only child, she needs to be the center of attention. I was one of five, so in my family it was like a bunch of Labs - "pick me, pick me!!!". She's also a control freak. Drives me crazy. She's very, very opinionated and critical of many people. She often says she hates so and so. I keep telling her that hate is too strong. I hate two people - the one who murdered my sister and the one who murdered my nephew. She's also constantly telling me how to do things: Dog training -- I've been training field dogs for over 50 years and have titled well over 100 retrievers including multiple Hunting Retriever Champions and Master Hunters. I even handled my first purebred, a German shorthair, to a show championship and she ended up being the top winning female GSP in a 6 state area in the mid-1970s. She's been showing golden retrievers since 1978 and has never finished a show champion. (Her younger daughter, who lives in our mother-in-law suite and finished a bunch). She has put a bunch of obedience titles on dogs and maybe 12 Junior Hunter titles on her goldens. But she's always telling me how to train. Like I said, she's never trained field dogs to levels higher than Junior. Don't get me wrong - she's an excellent trainer (for obedience, etc.) and is one of only 9 people in all of Ohio certified by the National Association of Dog Obedience Instructors. But, I think I know a little bit about dog training. Doesn't stop her for telling me how to train. Probably the worst is her constantly giving her opinion on the law. I am a retired Federal trial attorney and was a cum laude law school grad. I think her degree was in interior design or something. I don't even bother to explain legal issues to her anymore. I'm always wrong according to her. You name it. She always knows more than me.
When speaking southern, “bless his/her/your heart” can imply many different things. I’m reading your post, your wife and stepdaughter are candidates for virtually every one of them.
 

newduk

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I don't know to pack the car for a trip, load the dishwasher, wash clothes or find the closest route to our destination when driving. I try to grin and bear it. Straining at the leash just makes your neck larger. The times I have been right remind me of how I like my steak cooked, very rare.
 

CookMan

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When speaking southern, “bless his/her/your heart” can imply many different things. I’m reading your post, your wife and stepdaughter are candidates for virtually every one of them.
The top of the southern speak that really says I really feel sorry for a he/she is a "Bless It".
 

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