Frankly, it's good that you still enjoy it to some degree and can play.Baseball was my passion. Pitched and played outfield thru high school. Was blessed to play four years at a Division 1 college as a starting pitcher. Still play competitive amateur baseball at 39 years old.
By my 3 & 4th year of D1 baseball my passion for baseball was all but gone. The schedule was so demanding it took the fun out of the sport. While I still play that drive has really never total came back.